#My Own side of the story# episode 1

 

Unrequited love

Darm!! Could you just love me back already!!

it’s been like three years now since I knew you and nothing so far has shown if you even have the slightest idea about my feelings towards you or do you even feel anything for me? I have known you like forever, I try my very best to do all that you need, just to make you happy and see reasons with me and then know why am doing all these, the attention, the love, the care, the help and assistance, everything, what more would I have to do to tell you about this without a word out of my mouth or without telling you my feelings verbally, it’s hard and i know but am not giving up, its been three years for me to give up now.

(the best thing to do is to try the difficult things you can’t do, so they say, but the thing here is, how would I tell him that i love him “it’s crazy, it sounds crazy, so unusual, so unlike me, he may probably freak out, or see me differently” he must have probably sister zoned me or friend zoned me for all i know, am known as someone who is bold, intelligent, I advise people, am outspoken but I guess there is always a limit to what one can do).

I can recall for months he kept calling and showed care,attention, we chatted more often than usual, which I wasn’t sure if i should open up to him or wait a little while, coz I loved it, it made me feel special and I guess I was beginning to get use to it, so I just decided to watch and see the way things would turn out, the day we talked for hours, one night and then I felt, maybe, just maybe he has finally gotten the memo, I slept like a baby that night and am sure you can imagine what my dream would be like, I would seriously prefer this way as long as I get this much time with him, hmmm.

well, the next morning he called me, wanting to know how am doing and I felt like a princess again, I couldn’t wait to go to school that morning, to look him in the eyes and talk to him, we don’t stay in the same class though, he stays in “B” and I stay in “A”, it’s just opposite each other, I knew everything about him from head to toe, his family, siblings, friends, just name it but I can swear he knows nothing like that about me if not for where I live, my class and my name, well I don’t mind “love covers all things” you know right ?

Of coz, my friends knew about these feelings, Blue has mocked me to stupor, telling me to brace myself and move on since the feeling is one sided but sincerely, i wish i could, i can’t stop myself, am not ready to face him and tell him my feeling, if only i could, then maybe i may find it easy to let go, he won’t bite me or scold me for that, the least that would happen is for him to say he does not feel the same way or sound positive about it, it’s just two things that are involved in this scenario,  but am not ready nor willing for sure, as I thought about my friends comments and among them Bella seems to be the only understanding person if I would say, from the way things has been with us so far, I could tell she was understanding and that would either be because she has once been in my shoes,  maybe she’s just helping as a friend should or she really do understands, she seems to understand everything that goes on around us, Blue is a sweet girl too but she is very raw, plain and realistic in stuff, she hardly paint issues.

After family, my friends comes next in my life, I have two of them, they are my close friends and they have been with me since my first year in law school, which was when I started having a crush on John Morris, they knew about it all along and they felt it was just a crush and maybe as time goes by it would fade away, but since then till now am still here with this feeling, trying to live well with it as though nothing is happening, but of cause something is really eating me up,it’s a struggling experience for me.

 

To be continued part 2…………..Click and see